Friends, has this ever happened to you?
You’re out for a meal at a fine restaurant and suddenly you are attacked by a deadly reptile. Perhaps a crocodile that escaped from the circus or something like that.
Before you know it, you’re in the hospital being treated for a deadly venomous bite or shock or facing the possible amputation of a stricken limb. Or worse.
And your meal is ruined.
Well friends, I am happy to say I can personally guarantee you, and this is a vow I take on my blessed mother’s gray head, that the Red White & Brew at 6740 E. McDowell Road, Mesa, is 100 percent free of deadly reptiles.
And when you go there and order the Southwestern Mahi-Mahi Over Five Cheese Tortolloni for lunch or dinner any time this month, owner Ron Siegel will donate half the cost to Waste Not, and the folks at Waste Not will use that money to round up surplus food for our needy neighbors.
It’s part of Waste Not’s annual Celebrity Chef campaign, and to the best of my knowledge, no other participants have yet made a free-of-deadly-reptiles guarantee. Makes you wonder, doesn’t it?
So get out there before the month is over and order the official Valley 101 campaign meal and enjoy it free of fear from attack by deadly reptiles.
Has there ever been a summer when the temperature didn’t reach 100 degrees in the Phoenix area?
As far as I know, that has never happened since they started keeping records in 1895, and it probably would be kind of creepy if it ever did, wouldn’t it?
However, I suppose you should never say never. After all, there used to be mastodons and stuff like that in these parts, and those aren’t exactly hot-weather animals.
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OK, I’m going to take a few days off. I’ll be back next Sunday. I think I’ll do some work around the house and the yard or maybe go fishing. Or maybe I’ll try to set a new personal best for continuous time in my bathrobe and jammies. I like challenges.
Reach Thompson at clay.thompson@arizonarepublic.com or (602) 444-8612.
*Clay Thompson writes for The Arizona Republic. You can read his column by going to www.azcentral.com
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